Biodun's Blog!

Life Is A Runway (Rest In Peace) inspired by the loss and death of Whitney Houston

2012-02-20T19:14:00.002-08:00

"Life is a runway" at least so it seems in this millennium. It's a new world order of nothing but sex, drugs and cash. Everything is peachy, golden and fabulous. We tell ourselves in the mirror that everything is great within the family, so when something comes up that's unexpected and uncomfortable we sweep it under the rug. Its simply the bare truth we cant handle. Suddenly we are all saints, that are very comfortable and quick to point hands in the direction of a sinner...

SEX
Today a young individual has been raped or physically abused near us that we know of. This precious fellow is still alive but has lost the use of his/her heart. This is now a boy/girl with the sealed lips in the endless pool of confusion. On their borderline they look back to give love one more try but they end up as someone that seeks daily blessings from a man’s or woman’s temple of endowment. The question that rings through his/her mind and others like her is "Don't you wish you can unfuck people"?. I'm sure his/her answer is yes but its too late and by now her partners would be countless like the sand. She travels across the seas for love or maybe sex who knows because instead of being judged she writes all her daily activities in her dairy. She needed sex, morning, afternoon and night although she got confused whether it was love or sex she needed. Either way she became desperate for it and lost her herself in the path of righteousness. I wish i could tell him/her that "feelings are not fact"sometimes because i have been there and because a loved one says "i love you" doesn't give a life time guarantee to his or her life time commitment with you. There is a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone but i may have been to late to tell him/her that because no one wants to be lonely and in her loneliness drenching with pain from a heart break or visions from a rape she decided to kill her self leaving her family who really loves her and may his or her soul rest in peace.......

DRUGS
It's a new generation where a drug addict is constantly bashed about their mistakes, what ever happened to someone reaching out a hand to help?. Then again i forgot because apparently we are all saints. Everyone joins the crowd to call someone a crackhead but does anyone focus on what must have lead to his or her drug addiction?. Could it be depression, loneliness, family neglect?. People become idols and Gods of their own sitting on the throne of the almighty giving judgement that is not needed, i repeat not needed. This woman or man has cried out to the heavens before you came along to add frustration and pain to their soul. The drugs controls them internally and externally, if you are going to help make sure you are ready to stand by them throughout this battle. I wish i could tell him or her that just when you think something is over, its really a new beginning. Then again if a person cant hold on to the constant judgment he or she may rather choose a new beginning with the heavens and may his or her soul rest in peace....

CASH
Money cant buy love? that a lie because it surely can today. A career is hardly ever pursued when you can live of someone else's money. On the path to success a girl traded her soul to be finally noticed for her talents more importantly to escape the trauma of being poor, searching for food scraps daily and watching his or her friends flaunt their clothes or wealth in her face. She was on her path to being an influential person for her peers, the young generation but she was forced to give her soul because she was never given the microphone to feel important for once. That pastor that should have probably preached today to her about waiting patiently for God time, was more interested in preaching about who is laying underneath her sheets whether it was man or woman... I wish i could tell him/her that "every problem is temporary never permanent"and the road to success is not a straight path it has curves and delays. Then again i may have been to late to tell her because those that didn't help him/her in the beginning, still didn't let him/ her enjoy her money or happiness the best way she knew how to get it. She still doesn't know how she got to where she is at but because she will be judged based on her dirty secret, she decided she will rather commit suicide and may his or her soul rest in peace....

Copywritten (c) by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

AIDS: Talking 'Skin' with author Biodun Abudu by John J. Accrocco

2012-02-09T16:42:00.000-08:00

Chicago author Biodun Abudu's debut novel, Tales of My Skin is a book about one man's journey from Africa to the United States. This book confronts issues of sexual orientation, HIV and identity of teens in two different cultures that have more in common than meets the eye.

John J. Accrocco: Who do you hope to reach with this novel?

Biodun Abudu: Mainly, I hope this book reaches the LGBT community and the parents of any LGBT children or anyone who has questions about the LGBT lifestyle. It's a book for anyone who is looking for love and finding it in the wrong places. It's a book of advice for people in these situations.

JA: Tell me about your life, what is your story?

BA: I was born in Rhode Island, but a few years later I was relocated to Nigeria. My parents had a bad separation in the '90s and my mom thought it was best to protect me by taking me back to Nigeria. She felt the schooling was better there. I returned to the United States to pursue my dreams of working in fashion, which is considered inappropriate there. In Nigeria, to do my drag shows and costume designing and even to write this book would have been impossible. I found a school in Chicago where I had some family living and it felt like a good idea. I attended the International Academy of Design & Technology and finished with a B.A. in Fashion Merchandising.

JA: What prompted you to write this novel?

BA: It's a story that I think people need to hear. When adults look into teens' eyes, so often they don't see that they have stories to tell, stories that would frighten them. In my country, being gay is against the law, but there's this huge underground LGBT scene and people don't even know to protect themselves, that five minutes of pleasure could cost them their lives.

JA: What was the writing and publishing process like for you?

BA: It took me about two years to actually finish the book: about a year and a half to write it and then another six months of editing and finding a publisher.
I found my publisher [ Lalibra Books ] on a Facebook ad, believe it or not. It was this new company in California and I emailed their editor and told them about myself and my novel. I'm actually the first author aside from the editor. She loved it, and from there we began the editing and discussing the contracts. Privacy was something we had to concern ourselves with since a lot of the book is based on a few people I know.

JA: What kind of books does Lalibra usually publish?

BA: Well, it's mostly self-publishing, as I said I'm one of the first authors. I went with them because their prices were pretty reasonable and because they got back to me so soon. I could have waited around for an Indie publisher, but rather than waiting for them to notice me, which can sometimes take years, I knew that I had to get my message out there and start saving lives right away.

JA: Do you plan on publishing any more novels?

BA: Definitely. I'm hoping to release a book of poems soon. My next novel I think is going to be about a family member dealing with drug addiction.

JA: What specific LGBT issues is your novel addressing?

BA: It talks about HIV and the online addiction and how the LGBT world struggles in the world of dating. It also is about rape victims and about parents who aren't always there for their kids. In Nigeria, people want to think that there is no LGBT scene and this book discusses it.

JA: What do you mean by the LGBT world struggling with dating and online addiction? What is the correlation?

BA: For example, if a person for certain reasons can't get a real "date", they'll start turning to websites like AdamforAdam and Grindr. It's so easy for people on this site to go from guy to guy, place to place in just one night. This poses a serious danger for people on these sites who are really looking for love and think that this is the only way to find it. There are also people on these sites who only make profiles to scam people and it's usually hard to detect until it's too late. Young men also fall prey to older men with bad intentions who use these sites. The scariest thing I think about is that everyone lists themselves as HIV-, which in reality is just not true.

JA: Is your novel your truth or someone else's?

BA: Some of it is me. It's mostly my friend's truth. I blended some of his life with mine and to protect him, I don't discuss which parts are him and which parts are not.

JA: What are your goals as a writer?

BA: I want to create avenues for youth to speak their truths. Adults want to shut us up because they don't always like the truth, but more young people should speak up to save lives. Without the right people giving you advice, it's really easy to go down the wrong paths and I've seen so many people in my life give up and stop pursuing their goals.

JA: How have sales been so far?

BA: Surprisingly good. I'm at about 200 sales, mostly through Amazon. I'm getting a lot of buyers in Nigeria, Zambia and even a few in London. The book has only been out since October, so I'm very hopeful. I've done a few readings, one at the Center on Halsted. So far no stores are carrying the book but I am talking to a few local bookstores.

Tales of My Skin is available on Amazon.com in a digital and paperback edition.

This story is part of the Local Reporting Initiative, supported in part by The Chicago Community Trust.

When I listen....

2012-02-05T14:43:00.000-08:00

When I listen to “Beyonce - I Was Here”. I think of how I want to be remembered in my lifetime with accomplishments.

When I listen to “India Arie I’m Not Your Average Girl”. I learn how to love myself rather than become fake or become a label wh*ore. My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes. Im comfortable in my own skin. This also reminds me of "TLC - Unpretty".....

When I listen “Stacie Orrico - More To Life”. I think of the mysteries in my soul that I just keep searching for the answers. I just don’t understand the end of the world, religion, sexuality I’m just so confused…

When I listen to “Ludacris ft Mary - Runaway Love”. My heart becomes heavy , I think of my past that hunts me, my tears and why I can never trust a soul and even today i still feel like running away…

When I listen to “Rihanna - Russian Roulette” . I think of the lovers in my life that have hurt me it affects my mental being, in fact I become suicidal to the point of thinking a gun to my head may ease the pain.

When I listen to “Pink - Most Girls". I think of how I find myself in the circle of friends who will do anything to be with a man or woman with money, That’s definitely not me I just want real love.

When I listen to “Madonna - Papa don’t preach”. I think of the future when I will fight for the one I truly have found to love for life. If its only two of us at the wedding with the pastor so be it…..

When I listen to “Jennifer Lopez - If you had my love” . Its like an interview when I question a new lover in my life. I need to feel true love or it has got to end . I can’t forget “Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop that thing” so I make sure I watch out for the "Sade -smooth operator" that come my way for only one thing, yup that thing!.

When I listen to “Destiny’s Child - Is she the reason”. I think of the times I settled, a sucker for love I was. Promising that one day the relationship would be out in the open to the world. Being cool with no commitment until it was official, putting my heart on hold.

When I listen to “Kristina DeBarge - Future love” . I drift away to space, I day dream and I wait patiently till the right person would come along and take my hands for life. I imagine the ways ill meet this person for the first time and it would be love at first sight..

When I listen to “Jill Scott - Living my life like its golden”. I think of how I don’t want to stress anymore, I want to live it up like it’s the last day. I don’t want to care about what anyone thinks of me. Eat, dance and pray for a waterfall of happiness .

When i listen to "Britney Spears - Lucky" i can totally relate to the lyrics, i feel it was written for me and about me. If there is nothing missing in my life but why do i cry at night?

When I listen to “Lindsay Lohan - Confessions of a broken heart” . I think of the moment when I will finally meet my father to ask all the questions I want. Most of all I want to ask if he ever loved me?………

When i listen to "TLC - What about your friends". I think of how i became to have more adult friends because those my age just don't understand. Even those who claim to be my friend can't support me instead they ask for free products and probably will never ever take 10 seconds to read this, my blog or my book.....

When i listen to "TLC - Water falls". I think of my life and how people tell me i move too fast. I also think of my book "Tales of My Skin" a true life story of someone very dear to me who cant even look at the mirror at himself anymore.....

When I listen to “ Ricky Martin ft Christina Aguilera- Nobody wants to be lonely” . I stand in the shadows and everyone come to visit me but no one bothers to pull me out to the shade, unto the light and away from the pain……

When I listen to “Micheal and Janet Jackson - Scream”. think of how I’m tired of speaking and not being heard. Stress and pressure what a horrible combination. At this moment I need my sister cause she is the only one in the world that understands what I am going through aside from God.

When I listen listen to “Kelly Rowland - Stole”. I think of those I know that died . When they were living they were invincible to the human sight, they scream on the microphone for help but no one listens or they close the door on them. Its after he or she has committed suicide that they now talk about him or her.

When I listen to “Evanescene - Wake me up inside” . I question my spirit, those around me, my dreams and what it means. I stand on a mountain about to jump. I think of my lonely walks at 3am. I pray for someone to breath life into me in this cold, lonely world that seems to be a constant night and will I wake up before the sunlight ? I ask in fear as i whisper to myself...

Condomless Writings

2012-02-02T08:37:00.000-08:00

My Condomless writings are when i hunt for words and experiment by mixing them together in a raw

atmosphere to produce an unprotected type of poem or writing. It’s like a sexual industry where nothing is

hidden its straight to the point and keep you longing for more that you actually requested for.

Many topics are touched in my poems or writings and many explosions of chemicals have existed ,

so even if someone laid a hand upon my words he couldn’t control it with a sense of something I personally

call "poeticity", which is simply delivering breathless, speechless and unbearable words to

leave a person in awe because you have used such unimaginable inspirations to create the poem.

My writing has no limit it reaches the undiscovered and it’s a threat to Hollywood because of the

way it brings out pure creativity to existence. Upon reading my poem judgments always seems to come to

past but its only because I’m doing things I never thought I will do. I’m not afraid to come out of the dark

to touch the restricted light no one else has neither am i afraid to visit the forbidden territories, so for my

own future prediction of my own writing I must say

this is just the beginning......

The Word Game

2012-02-01T21:02:00.000-08:00

I attended an open mic and they played a word game. These were the six words they called out and i was supposed to form a poem on the spot. The words were Ally, Respect, Moist, Seductive, Hairy and B*lls.

Here is what i wrote :-

The relationship was great while it lasted
I just can't keep choking on your hairy b*lls
My ally i am telling you to shave cause your just too hairy
I have found someone else to keep me moist morning, evening and night
I have so much respect for you that i could not cheat on you so i am letting you go
I mean look at me I'm a seductive vixen at my body and my body is a wonderland
So don't you think i deserve someone way better?.

Save Our Souls

2012-01-23T22:30:00.000-08:00

Dear God,

The world has gone crazy and those older than us have left the youth to venture into the cold world alone. The world says the youth are the future generation to take over. Indeed we are, however when we seek for help there is rejection. We seek for therapy and support but instead some tell us to bend over.

We seek direction to success from elders but some lead us to death. We admire those older than us but instead of reaching out to help us some of them immediately see us as threats and suddenly become blind to our existence.

The world is so self absorbed that youth cant share their stories. Living for today is what most are doing since no one cares to stop it. A lot of us youth roam the streets at 3am and it’s not what you think, it’s simply because we refuse to believe hell is a place called home. Tomorrow? Is not a word that exist since the truth has been hidden.

Trying to understand the state of mind of young one is impossible. Some of us wish we could just have someone listen to us but that’s hard to find. When we do find someone to listen its usually after we have been stripped naked and have exercised our mouth to the pleasure of some elders . Those are usually the ones who after taking advantage of us, they boldly say the youth are “young, dumb and full of cum”. A lot of us youth are risk takers, in fact we are entrepreneurs in the making. We go through life figuring out how to live our dreams since some of our parents or some elders think our dreams are foolish or will never be possible.

God can you please tell the world, some parents, some elders to never doubt what a young individual can become. Open my eyes oh lord to see a day when adults would be supportive of the young generation and put them on microphones to speak their mind, after all we will be the ones running the world till the next generation is ready.

If some adults were aware of our presence I’m sure we wouldn’t be having numerous teens that are pregnant . If they had us on their mind to sit down and advice us maybe a youth at age 21 wouldn’t have slept with 32 people already at that young age. God please save the youth who is crying and feeling suicidal, touch his heart and bring happiness to his soul.………….

Copywritten (c) by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

A Human's Journey

2012-01-19T21:08:00.000-08:00

I learnt from my best friend that if you plan to go far sometimes you have to go alone

He also told me your first love is the one that remains in your heart forever and ever

My mum keeps telling me human beings cant be depended on or trusted but only God

She told me "know the child of whom you are no matter where you find yourself”

A stranger whispered to me constantly that heaven helps those who help themselves

I read from her lips to never let a man know his power over you in a relationship

I’m sure there has got to be more to life because as a human I am never satisfied

I told myself “don’t ever reveal the pain in the chain locket you wear everyday”

I could never take the seat of God to judge someone else, I leave it unto the lord

Concerning this topic I have learnt “every saint has a past and every sinner has a future”

Behind a person’s smile or a youth’s innocent eyes is an interesting story or secret

We all need help to cover the darkest secret, but as soon as its covered another one opens

As an individual i love to dream and then my best friend splashes reality unto my face

Whenever i hear music I'm suddenly halfway up to heaven but I'm stuck in reality once again

I can't deny the way i feel even though i am supposed to be on earth to complete his mission

"I'm Sorry" but i need to find this person that appears in my dreams that i have yet to meet

Even the devil wouldn't recognize those that hurt me, but could it be "love" that will end me?

My dream forcasted a private storm, so I'm crying unto the heavens for protection over my life

At my million dollar mark I've started thinking maybe i can run to an unknown area to be free

I guess i could be naked all day, live on a beach and write letters for communication if needed

Copywritten (c) by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

The Fame Chronicles

2012-01-19T13:06:00.000-08:00

The battle has just begun within each and every individual. The plastic surgery, the lies, the betrayal, the romance so many other things, just to fall in the lane of being known around the world. The sacrifices are definitely a huge factor in this industry in terms of selling nothing but sex and loosing your innocent look. At times you are forced to let go of friends or family who may come in between.

Some starve themselves desperately waiting for that day the casting director would peek interest in them. Its not surprising that before many reach a video casting call they say good bye to their loved ones because they are on a mission to give it all to whoever can get them to where they want to be.

I’m sure all performers know better than to leave their belongings and walk away from it. Upon return either your heels are missing, your lotion has been diluted with a substance that will cause irritation while you are on stage and so many other things can happen. Don’t feel bad though because “some just want it more than you do”…….

There is a story behind each magician and what is really the source of his power in this new era ever since his competitor started taking over. There is a singer who has so much talent but has so many secrets lying with numerous individuals that made her an overnight celebrity.

We wonder what happened to that super rich person that committed suicide, I guess we will never know. It could be possible that people forgot to tell “him or her’ that there are side effects to that life. Some individuals are just honestly tired of the family pressure of constantly being compared to their friends or siblings, So they reach out to someone out there to rescue them simply saying “take whatever you want, just make me successful”.

The desperation of being noticed comes in all forms especially killing tons of people at a random event for the 15 minute of fame. Everyone is a master of their craft and no one likes to support another struggling individual whose trying to get into the industry, only because that person may take their title. Everyone is so fly these days and no one is down to earth anymore.. Every man for himself is the current phrase and it has rather gone extreme. Investors who seek pure talent are very rare, they all want something in return. "Nothing is free" they say once again......

Our generation is very competitive. We have great talents and some of us love the attention, well maybe all. The scary part is a huge number of us seem to be on our way to do anything to be noticed even give our soul to the devil, some wait for God's time i suppose....but whose side are you on? What will you be willing to do when you are tired of your situation and your talent wasting away?

#FameChroniclesbyBiodun

Copywritten (c) by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

Lake Street

2012-01-16T21:41:00.000-08:00

                        Lake street is a popular avenue for every tom, dick and harry. Some find its location through the Internet, through a friend, at a party or they happen to arrive there with proper cash. Its a popular bus route that everyone drives through except the wise ones. Some visit daily with hard work while some take an over night shift on lake street without their lovers knowing.

                        Lake street is so beautiful that many don't seem to care about the historical events that have happened good or bad. Even if it seems to be piled with snow some will still hurdle through it to shovel and pull a double shift on lake street.

                        Even though lake street suddenly happens to be littered with papers and other things it still manages to attract tourist who come in to explore without proper tickets. The tourist don't even know upon leaving that the paper waste has been clinged to their clothes and they walk onto another street to explore, spreading the paper waste to every each and every street that is available.

                        I personally haven't been to lake street without the proper necessity which is a suited armor of protection. I know where i stand and its definitely not on lake street, in fact i rather be homeless than find myself on lake street. I rather explore another street that has a 24hr police protection that after you get proper tickets to this street you can maybe have a grand opening or an inaguration on this street if it's approved by her mayor.

                       I just wish every tourist would listen and use the armour of protection. Many are found at every pyramid at the corner. These well suited armours like Magma, troy and life change can stop spreading paper waste or prevent having overflowing flowers of life that many of us young visitors are not ready to take care of.

                    Copywritten (c) 2011 by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

Untitled

2012-01-13T09:38:00.000-08:00

Like a fountain of water it flows endlessly

Like the skies its here to stay everyday

Like death its unpredictable it come unexpectedly

Like a shooting star or meteoroid it can move really fast

Like a house it brings two or more people together

Like the sun rays it touches everyone

It’s a natural gift which is given to humans and animals

It brings a smile upon a fellow’s face

It makes a person at times speechless

It’s the heart that it has a home and a place

It seems like a spell when you do things you never done before

Its very warm but when mishandled it has a cold side

Its very light but when broken it weighs in pounds

Its not when you go online searching for the hottest tom, dick and harry for sex

Its something that is celebrated and it occurs in special memories

When broken at times it shatters and it leaves you saying “I am through with it”

If you give it a chance and let it lead the way, it will lead you to the right person

Just then you can sing those special songs while enjoying social moments

However I still wonder will it come my way or at least come true for me?

Copywritten (c) 2011 by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

I Valued You

2012-01-09T14:53:00.000-08:00

            I valued your lies and you cheating on me

            I valued you driving me crazy consistently

            I valued your physical abuse and verbal abuse

            I valued your disgust about my career path

            I valued you not appreciating me as your lover

            I valued you taking away my self worth

            I valued you raping me when I refuse to let you in

            I valued you sucking me dry, day to day

            I valued you making me insecure

            I valued you making me live in fear

            I valued you not loving me when I truly loved you

            I valued you always embarrassed of being seen with me in public

            I valued you telling me every morning that I am hideous

            I valued you telling me constantly i am a major failure

            I valued you even telling me I should just die because I'm worthless

            I loved the lessons i learnt and now i celebrate love at last

Copywritten (c) 2011 by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

Love Is Blind

2012-01-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

You left me to be ran over by a car

You pushed me down a very high mountain

You left me to drown in the Atlantic ocean

You shot my brains and forcefully ripped my heart out

You kept me from progressing, consistently causing traffic

You lead me into a trap so I can be killed

You left me with no legs that all I can do now is drag myself on the floor

You chopped off my hands so I couldn’t reach out for help

You took my only breath away from my body

You took my eyes from seeing the truth

You took my only hope in believing that there is still a reason for living

You pierced through my gentle soul with a thick spear

You shoved me against the wall from seeing the path to success

You placed me in a washing machine, for me to drown in my own tears

You placed my life on hold for you to find your own happiness

You were my passion for life but its clear you have become a terror leading to my death

All this you did to me after you swore you loved me and now i’m left alone to figure out the puzzle in this wonderful award winning movie role you played.

Copywritten (c) 2011 by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

I Settled For The Devil

2012-01-06T21:58:00.000-08:00

I settled mother f****r when you demoted me from lovers to friends
I settled when you told me after three months that I was too feminine
I settled when I caught you saying “love is in the air” concerning your ex
I settled when you said you were too busy to call me or even send a text

I settled for you b***h when you hung up and I will call back begging you
I settled when I asked about our future and you said “I don’t know”
I settled when you would say if we dated for five years it won’t mean much
I settled as you put me on hold on the phone while you browsed that hooker site

I settled for you hopeless thing when you took girls numbers from clubs every time
I settled when you told me it didn’t matter if girls slept over on your bed from your party
I settled each and every time when we argued, you would say my crying irritates you
I settled when you went from calling me baby, boo to now dude, buddy, man or even ni**a

I settled for you bast**d when you lied saying consistently that you will never hurt me
I settled for you criminal for God knows you ain’t different from those ex's you b***h about
I settled and waisted time with your ignorant and evil ass when you had someone else
I’m done settling and i finally realized i trully fell in love with "judas" for you are the devil

Copywritten (c) 2011 by Biodun Abudu. All rights reserved

African Obsession

2012-01-02T12:28:00.000-08:00

In Chicago i was just a regular lad during the day and a wolf at night, you couldn't assume anything till you sought the truth but with that it took a journey, passing mountains and seas to get to my domain. A world of a young valley flowing with a waterfall of pure sexiness, realness and unique values. A mystery by my looks but a wonderland at my body sugarcoated with different characteristics so delicious many would say. For the time being i was just a current completing chapter as many men read through. i was just an eye candy that exuded sexiness. Sex with me was like a drug; you get addicted and came back for more. The times i has sex was uncountable like the sand.

The fruit of a young being that i alone possessed was like an endless flow of a waterfall. With multiple pleasure units my body was like a circus enjoyable long lasting games, roller coasters and a gift at the end of the session that came naturally from my body like every other human that had great sex. My body was like a train conductor booth riding express to "ouch" station. I was the main essential ingredient missing for many men. Many others on the site were the attractions but i was the center. Many were the nails but without the hammer it wasn't productive so that's why many sought to fulfill their fantasies with me.

The words from my lips made men rush to my door steps in seconds. My main online screen name was African Obsession and i had many more to mention but don't let the screen name fool you i wasn't there to quench every one's thirst or desires. It was on my page that perfection still existed and it was a shame many couldn't work the equation.

My page had numerous messages that i couldn't keep up with. My mail box became full of numbers way more than a regular phone book which included different companies etc. If i responded to a message i would get a reply in seconds. If there was a name for something less than seconds in terms of time, that is what i would describe my further responses. The mailbox got full which was very rare for the website.

The word "cyber stalker" got its meaning from my page when many got obsessed that if i said i wasn't interested they would many more numerous profiles just to get to me. I had a block list of a whole state in number. I was like a favourite TV show that people tuned into, when i logged in everyone would be send messages to see what i was up to that day.

Many wrote full typed essays in my inbox but in summary it was just what they dreamed of doing to me. I must say they had big dreams but in reality they needed to set their standards lower. It was funny when thugs became professional when they messaged me, they made sure they spoke proper English. I wasn't impressed by much on the site so the models, sexiest guys, hugest muscle kind of guys still had to work hard just like every other person that messaged me.

I definately didn't fall under the category of young dumb and full of cum because i knew how to say "NO". Many would say i was conceited but i felt i was just playing the game like everyone else was. the entire site was just like a shopping mall, many products, same brand but different prices, some put on hold, some not given a tag yet (bi -curious or questioning). But i was just an outfit that was worn a few times in the fitting room but mainly looking to be worn on and taken home for good which also meant taken off the rack. Despite all i have said deep down i was secretly a lover of all human beings but loving men overshadowed me mostly in my "Human's Journey" and the "Tales of My Skin".........

My Open Letter to the Unknown

2012-01-02T01:17:00.000-08:00

Biodun means to be born in celebration and my destiny in life has never been to be locked in a corner of a room. What i do, what i wear, who i am, my decisions, what i write, how i walk and act all together brings happiness to my soul. Gone are the days when i had no one to wipe my tears as i suffered daily. Thank God my thoughts of suicide are now a thing of the past. I was born to make history. I will forever remain a mystery that is unsolvable and i will still remain undefined, uncategorized and most of all unpredictable. Forever will i be a lover of all humans because God is love and if you have the boldness to point out to someone in disgust or hate then you don't love God.

1 John 4:20 If anyone says, "I love God,"yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother , whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

I have chosen my path to be the voice of my peers who are scared to say that i have been raped of my worth but that does not define me. I do not want to fight for rights that we or i deserve but i want to handle what is here and present to make it my home and not a battlefield. Spreading love on earth is human nature and only God can judge.

Thanks,
Biodun Abudu

Pursuit of Love

2012-01-02T00:52:00.000-08:00

The things we do for love *sigh*, i was once fooled myself. "Tales of My Skin" is a true life story for many to learn. If a man says "I love you" doesn't mean he means it, its the spare of the moment. A person's pursuit of love can become very desperate at times, sometimes some will begin to settle for less, some will travel to another country for love, some will get married immediately because its their only shot at love, some will let condoms go because he says "i don't use it but i love you".... So many sad stories, find my book "Tales of My Skin" by biodun on Amazon.com

Tales of My Skin by Biodun (Book Reviews)

2012-01-02T00:28:00.000-08:00

Summary of the book  "Tales of My Skin ". From a new and talented writer comes a novel based on a true life story about sex, lust, lies and the pursuit of love. The journey from Africa to America is filled with hopes, dreams and clouds of promise. When the desires of a heart conflict with familial and cultural tradition, choices will be made. Tunde's story begins with innocence, travels through heartbreak and despair to land in rebirth. What doesn't kill him, in the end may just save his life.

Available on:
Amazon Kindle -------- > Download Now
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B005XB5ZS8
Amazon.Com ----------> Order Now (Paper Back)
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0615548970 Worldwide shipping
Create Space.com ------------>Order Now (Paper back)
https://www.createspace.com/3699484 Worldwide shipping


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Biography (About the Author)

2012-01-01T23:54:00.000-08:00

Biodun was born in Rhode Island, but comes from a Nigerian familial background. When he is not writing, he works as a choreographer, drag performer, actor, model and fashion designer. In 2011, he graduated with an. A.S. degree in Fashion Design and a B.A. in Merchandising Management with an emphasis on Fashion Merchandising.

"My love for writing has no limit and allows me to be very bold and unpredictable. My goal is to splash a cold dose of my reality onto the faces of my readers. My writing is what I refer to as condomless writing. It is when I hunt for words and experiment mixing them together in a raw atmosphere to produce an unprotected type of poem or writing. I am not afraid to come out of the dark to touch on the restricted light no one else has bothered to shed and im not afraid to make history by visiting the forbidden territories" .

His first novel was published in October, 2011, is entitled "Tales of My Skin".

We Brought back the peplum

2010-09-15T16:02:00.001-07:00

The peplum skirt of the 1940 has been brought back into the new millenium fashion. It's an addition of a short skirt-like panel over the waist on a dress or skirt. Reminiscent of Dior's "New Look" and also of '80s style, peplum dresses and skirts are feminine looks that accentuate hourglass figures. These days, the peplum combines the best of the retro sensibilities of the '40s along with the youthful exuberance of the '80s. A few stores like ann taylor, macys and others seem to have reinvented the peplum in their own creative way. I have seen ann taylor blouses that from right at the hem of the blouses they add a peplum skirt and even macy’s skirts also at hem’s have a peplum effect at the buttom end.

They even are putting the peplum into dresses that have been worn on the red carpet which we may have seen. Not to even talk about the popular ones we most likely will know which is a peplum inspired jacket, which begins right after that cute little belt at the natural waist not the hips but the natural waist. It is combined with notch collars or shawl collars at the top and a few pleats at back of the peplum skirt and so on.

Who is it?

2010-09-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

Is there anyone else who can exude such beauty and sexiness? She already has made a line infact a collection of signature clothing and costumes that even a 5 year old can recognize. So even if she dressed in pocka dots and a strip bottom with a shiny leather boots on a relaxed day it still wouldn’t matter because she is living life at age 30 and has accomplished so much and even more than divas before her time .

She is such an inspiration of this time right after Oprah, Michelle Williams of course but even they themselves adore her. At the mention of her name most in the world at least know one or two of her famous tunes. It’s no surprise that anywhere she is being interviewed they always ask with all the Grammy’s, money, number one hits how do you stay grounded as humble? In her response she smiles giving us that shy side of her rather than the ego we expect on stage.

Vogue Magazine Critic

2010-09-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

The vogue magazine of November 20009 has a regular standard industry size with a price of $4.99.The circulation of the publication was located on the website under the “Vogue Media Kit” and below is an outlook of the numbers and percentages.

Circulation/Demographics

Subscription: 887,633 71.5%

Verified Subscriptions: 66,488 5.4%

Newsstand: 353,137 28.5%

Total Average Paid Circulation: 1,240,800 100%

Ratebase: 1,200,000

TOTAL AUDIENCE 12,030,000

Female / Male 88.0% / 12.0%

Median Age 34.5

Median Household Income $68,667

Sources: December 31, 2009 ABC Statement

Updated 02/18/2010

The overall of the circulation is purchased more by the female individuals rather than the male as it shows right above. The ads in the publications cater’s to mostly female groups if not all. Most of their customer numbers come from subscriptions and news stands as shown above. The advertorial pages are a lot more than the editorial pages in the vogue magazine in a range of almost 80% to 20% and standard size is 60% advertorial and editorial 40%. The total number of pages is 268.

The sources of the articles made sure it referenced the artists, the photographer, the model

The quality in the writing has a combination of well written words that may sought you ought to learn more fashion vocabularies. The photography is simply irresistible in the rich color it presents to the readers. The paper is the right fit for a magazine which is easy to lift, not easily tear able and has a little of glaze to the paper overall. The Vogue used the book binding part of joining the pages.

The grade we give this magazine is B is because the sources we not informative enough, while the advertorial was 60% and the editorial was 40% which is not standard. However they did a great job with images included in the magazine. The images remain inspiring to people who seek fashion tips and style.

Hmmm that smell

2010-08-11T16:06:00.000-07:00

Walking into the house today I smelt an awfully room filled nasty smell and it smelt like the one I remember smelling when I fell in a gutter back in Nigeria at the age of about 7 or so. The smell was so horrible that when I took out the trash and sprayed the air freshener it felt like the smell was mixed in with the trash.

It was like a berry cream vanilla spoilt rice and expired milk with bread. Im so glad I did not have a visitor with me because that would have been an awful scene of embarrassment. The smell was so strong that it brought a memory of when the apartment floor was burning and they smell leaked into my floor my clothes were smelling like a burnt tire maybe I need to take a walk and get some fresh air and release myself from the smell laboratory I have made for myself.

Stop staring at me Please!!!!

2010-08-11T16:04:00.001-07:00

I am wearing a transparent stripe white shirt with a black skinny jeans as well at converse trainers. I purchased my top on the male section of H&M but still the world has a problem because it has a deep v neck and then again I choose not to button up. Some call it showing of my man cleavage but its just what I want to do. Now I guess its now ok to wear skinny jeans because the rapper lil wayne has starting to wear and now skinny jeans seems so masculine now.

I don’t like to follow the crowd however I do like this converse trainers that’s in vogue in the year of 2010. So I bought me a pair and I’m wearing my district 9 pair, I love it and don’t need to hear if someone else likes it or not I rather prefer they keep their comments to themselves.

On that note let me enjoy the heavy topic that my outfit for today will bring when people see me. Oh I must not forget I think Chicago is behind the trend of the one strap male bags (shoulder bags) (messenger bags)the ones worn mostly in London. Many call it murse for man purse some just see it as a gay but of course if you travel internationally not locally you will bring fashion awareness to your brain.

Knowlege and Wisdom are keys to life

2010-08-04T18:13:00.000-07:00

                          There was a mother pig who had three little pigs. She finally one day told them to go live on there own places since they grew up and were much more mature. The three pigs grew different houses along the way, one made of straw, sticks and bricks which they had asked on their way along the roadfrom strangers, each of the pigs boasted to build a better and stronger house than the other. The purpose of them buidling each house was to escape the wolf so as not to be eaten.
                         It took the third pig a long time to build his house, for it was a very strong house. The wolf came along the first house and asked the first pig to come in and the first pig said no and he blew the straw house away and the first pig ran into the next brothers house and the wolf came along and asked to come in they bothe said no and he blew the house down again they both ran into the brother with the brick house and wolf came along and asked to come in and they all said no and the wold blew again this time it didnt fall. He blew till he was tired and then thought he was clever and climbed the roof using the chimney to come and little did he know the third pig was clever than he was and had a set pot of soup opened the wolf fell right in the pot and they ate him for dinner.
                        There were guesses that the two first brothers would die and only the brick house would remain.That shows that one of many children will be smart most likely and others may most likely die foolishy by the train tracks or by a drug deal gone wrong or even sadly killed by their online lover when they finally meet.